Saturday, October 16, 2010

On "Mom-hood"

Every once in a while, I actually blog here. Tonight is one of those times.

1. I have to realize I am not to blame and not responsible for the actions of my grown children. I knew that, just needed a reminder/wake-up call.
2. Even so, they are my children and I love them, faults and all. I mean, I have plenty of my own, but also, they make mistakes. It doesn't make them a bad person. And just because they may not fit the whole 'norm of society' doesn't mean they can't be a good parent. (I even make mistakes.)
3. It also doesn't mean they don't love their own children and sometimes it takes longer for some people to "grow up" as opposed to others. It still doesn't make them a bad person.
4. If you come at me and say mean and hurtful things to me about my children, even if they are grown, just know the nice gloves come off. Now if you want to say those things directly to the adult child, well then fine, but if you are suppose to be a professional, then please be professional. Don't attack me, or whoever it is and don't make it personal.
-- Especially when you know VERY LITTLE of the entire story. There's always more to the story then you think you know.
5. Don't be so quick to judge. I'm guilty of this one even recently. And again, events sometimes serve as that wake-up call. Don't be so quick to believe the worst of someone and if a person admits they have issues, problems, something to help, not compound the problem.

6 is the best: Friends and prayer can work miracles.

7. Don't lie to me. There's no point in it. I'll probably find out soon enough that you did. You don't have to tell me everything, if you want, leave out the good stuff. Just don't lie to me! Or I won't trust you.
8. Don't threaten me. I'm not easily intimidated.

9. Back to the 2 and 3 posts. Look, I did the best I could raising my children. For the most part, I don't feel I did so bad, but weeks like this, when everyone (general loose used term there in the everyone bit) is attacking me, I wonder where I went wrong, then I realize, hey, stop that. I should tell these people that too, no matter who they think they are. But, I wasn't handed a parenting book when I gave birth.
Everyone has their own ideas of raising children. That's the great thing about being a parent. Gosh, it would be an awful boring world if all children were raised the same or by a "set of standards" that a few think are the way to go. I know that my mom raised me very much different from the way she raised her older children, or even my sister. My sister claims I was mom's favorite and she was always bragging on me. I never much heard that. I know my mom was proud of me, she told me a time or two. But many of those times, I don't think I really heard her. I think, years later, I sort of "get it."

And lastly, don't imply that creating children is a crime or a sin. Children truly are a blessing! And if this post bothers you, then maybe you need to get right with yourself.

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